Contradictions

I am a poet
because I said I'd never be
and if I know anything about me,
is that the never's of my life
don't tend to agree.

I craft rhymes
to bring laughs into the room.
I heard muses play with you
twice as much as an artist,
so I'll humor them through.

I shall describe in metaphors
the inspiration they brought,
majestic odes, sonnets to recall.
Nah! That sounds cheesy as fuck.
How about a pop song to come up strong?

But, last time I was on stage
it gave me the shivers.
I’ll crack in the first intermission,
performances aren’t something
I can deliver.

No, words are fine.
They provide peace of mind,
if only you assume
nobody's reading them
or leaving comments online.

Cause, you know?
I am easily offended,
that's why music won't do.
I'll be wondering if they are pretending
when they clap to my tune.

Anyway, I'll tell people I'm a poet,
so the rumor can spread.
But wait ! Muses will come
expecting I don't curse, which I do,
thinking I write about love, which I don't.

Maybe I shouldn’t advertise.
Honestly, I prefer silly
and cheeky remarks.
Will they find it improper
if I am joking all the time?

Oh well, I'll manage.
Yet, I feel sorry for my musical talent,
it's just that I can't take my piano anywhere,
it's hard to get good credentials, and
pen and paper, I can fit even in my underwear.

Yeah, poetry is perfect for me.
I can invent my own lingo if I'm ever bored.
Cocorrum, anyone?  I'll ask with a straight face.
Their confused but amused stares
will be worth the shameless zen.

Or am I overthinking it?
Maybe it’s not too late to be a painter.

Just kidding!
Words were my only companions
through life's ruthless conundrums.
I’ll stick to them as I live,
as their crazy disciple.